I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
