I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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