Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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