I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize