If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
