Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
