im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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