It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
