his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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