All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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