and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Im part way to drunk.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
