We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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