You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
