I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I will be naked everywhere
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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