dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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