just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
