let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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