I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
