I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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