I smell stomach acid.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
