And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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