is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
