I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
