It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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