We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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