new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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