"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
