Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
