i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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