My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize