If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
