he wants to bone in the snuggie
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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