My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
