I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
