im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
