I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
