Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
my sisters under your porch take her home
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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