how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
