At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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