Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
