you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
