No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
