I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
