The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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