pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
