R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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