remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
