I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
well you can't waste a boner
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
