All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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