You really coming over, don't trick.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
