drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize