just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
