help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
