it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
