he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
