I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Randomize
