I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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