no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
